For the Safety Of The Nation, We Must Equalize Airfare

Not News: Our nations poorest are at risk. Still Not News: Our nations richest enjoy a level of safety and security far out of whack with that afforded to most Americans. News: Because even terrorists respond to prices.

When an admitted al-Qaida (sic) operative planned his itinerary for a Christmas 2009 airline bombing, he considered launching the strike in the skies above Chicago, the Associated Press has learned. Tickets were too expensive to Chicago, as well as Houston, however, so he refocused the mission on a cheaper destination: Detroit.

Clearly, to protect the already downtrodden people of Detroit (and their laughable advertisements), the government MUST step in and make sure no terrorist ever uses pricing as a decision-making tool. PRICES AREN’T TARGETS, SHEEPLE! We obviously need a comprehensive subsidy program to make all destinations cost an equal amount. It’s so obvious. What? We’re broke? Pa-shaw.

As long as we’re on the sarcasm trip, enjoy this biting satire from Arlington’s own Remy.

That’s some juicy truth-to-power right there.

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