SO MUCH FAIL

I failed to break out the camera in time for the Weekly Photo Challenge, so you’ll just have to wait for the installment of “fork”. But I’m not the only one who screwed up. There’s lot of FAIL going around these days, so let’s run down some of the more noteworthy items.

– Democrats are being wildly outspent in this midterm election! SECRET FORIEGN MONEY AND GIANT CORPOR … what? They’re outspending Republicans by $270 million? Next you’ll tell me the big winners in Citizen’s United were really the unions!

– Tea Partiers: “We lurve the Constitution!” Libertarians: “You should read it.”

Hint: Senators serve more than 4 years.

– In maybe the dumbest local column since … forever, DCist breathlessly points out a new study found that you can eliminate poverty by … paying people more. Now that the blindingly obvious is news, maybe I can get a job as a weather man. “Hello, there’s some weather of some kind today, see you at 11.”

What makes this so DURR HURR DURR isn’t just the banality of the study, but the complete lack of context. Some facts might have made the news interesting, or better yet, useful. For instance, if you effectively double wages, how many jobs would that cost the city’s economy?

– The Washington Post reports that a top Fairfax County High School now discourages learning and curiosity. Get me the Department of Education, stat!

– The billions we threw away on bailouts totally made America richer, you guys. Unless you count all the bailouts.

Partisanship makes you dumb. Which is why we need limited government, because no politician can be trusted to run your lives for you, no matter their stupid mascot.

That’s this week in Fail, folks. Throw back a Bourbon, preferably with me and Phil Raintree at the Arlington Rocklands, where we’re now proud members of the “Bourbon Club“.

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