Holiday Tweets: because they’re funnier than holiday sweaters and Great Aunt Beatrice doesn’t have a computer.
@paulscheer Don’t know why we have a national holiday celebrating Chris Columbus. Sure, I like Home Alone & Mrs. Doubfire but c’mon it’s a little much
@FakeMTA In honor of Columbus Day, all trains will be taking you someplace other than you thought you were going.
@TWITTERWHALE Happy Christopher Columbus Day. Now go out and discover something that was already discovered.
@DangerGuerrero In Columbus’ defense, he just missed his target by half the globe & murdered tons of people. It’s not like he canceled Arrested Development.
@Disalmanac Today is Columbus Day. To celebrate, go visit your neighbor, give him smallpox, and move into his house after he dies.