This Week in Libertarian Football Picks

For the first time this year I managed to win 2 games, the contenders kept their hot streak going, however, as Attorney Brazil also went 2-1.  The contenders are now 6-3 in three weeks, if you wanna make some money don’t invest it in the stock market, go to Vegas and take the Contenders’ picks.

Game 1:  Atlanta @ New Orleans -4 (Phil picked Atlanta, Attorney Brazil picked NO)

Phil:  Going against my intuition paid off here.  New Orleans hasn’t looked that impressive right now.  While we’re making wild declarations, I’m going to guarantee, GUARANTEE, on the most widely read libertarian nfl picks column in the world — the Saints don’t make it back to the Super Bowl this year.  In other news, Matt Ryan doesn’t suck as much as I thought he did.

Attorney Brazil:  I have always proposed the idea that instead of field goals, the NFL should have a 5ft by 5ft box in the back of the endzone that a QB can throw the ball through for three points. This would allow for the added excitement of defenses not knowing on fourth down whether a team was going for it or was just going to throw it “in the box” for three points. If this rule was in place, New Orleans wouldnt need an “in the box” specialist because Brees is so accurate… and they would have definitely beaten Atlanta on Sunday. Instead, some guy who no one is friends with on the team misses a field goal and costs me a perfect week.

GAME 2:  Green Bay -3 @ Chicago  (Phil picked Chicago, Attorney Brazil picked Green Bay)

Phil:  Chicago still sucks.  Jay Cutler will not take this team to the playoffs unless the refs bail out the chinless wonder each week by calling 38 penalties on the opposing D.  Lesson learned here:  home teams win MNF 60% of the time.

Great bass player ever? Or A.J. Hawk with a soul patch. You decide.

Attorney Brazil:  Sorry Green Bay. You don’t win games when two of your players both look like bass players for an early 90s hair band passed its prime (AJ and Clay). Thats just a universal fact. One is fine, but not two.

Game 3:  San Francisco @ Kansas City -2.5 (Both Phil and Attorney Brazil Picked KC)

Phil:  The 49ers don’t have a good coach.  They don’t have a good quarterback.  Why did anyone think they’d be good this year?  Like AB will tell you below, we should have known the 49ers would suck precisely because the media loved them so much this offseason.  Hell, Bill Simmons, self-proclaimed NFL gambling know-it-all, had the 49ers going 13-3 this year.  That’s right 13-3!  Over the last 5 years, about 3 teams a year are 13-3 or better.  Simmons thought the 49ers would be a top 3 team.  Unsurprisingly, they already have 3 losses and it’s not yet October.

I like you, but you're crazy, you're crazy Sports Guy.

Attorney Brazil:  I think I could become a millionaire just by betting during the first three weeks of the NFL season against whoever is the “sexy” offseason pick by the “experts.” Do we not understand that these experts are mostly just journalism school grads and former players who have sustained 10 concussions in the last 10 years? Libertarians who read this blog should know a market inefficiency when they see one.

Thanks for the opportunity WaCK. Now I need to go back to following my socialist websites and I’ll leave you all to touch yourselves with excitement over Christine O’Donnell (or  whatever else you libertarians do when Big Brother isn’t watching).

Phil:  Thanks to you AB, and for the record O’Donnell’s opponent might be wackier than she is.  Also, if you are going to touch yourself to a senatorial candidate, O’Donnell has to be near the top of the list.

This entry was posted in Sports and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to This Week in Libertarian Football Picks

  1. Pingback: Picking With Phil: Week 15 | Whiskey and Car Keys

Comments are closed.