Oh my goodness, we’re back for a third week. Why? Because Aaron lets me.
This week, we have a special guest, Attorney Brazil. He is my legal counsel whenever I’m detained for doing something crazy, like traveling abroad. He’s also there in case I punch Joe Flacco in the arm so he can’t ruin another defensive gem by Ray Lewis and the boys. He’s not a libertarian, but he does like Rush. At least he doesn’t hate Rush. Anyway, picks time!
GAME 1: Atlanta @ New Orleans -4
Phil: I don’t know what to think about Atlanta. Matt Ryan seems to lock onto his primary receiver. The primary receiver is typically Roddy White (he’s been targeted 35 times in 2 games). Michael Turner looks like he’s lost a step. Atlanta is predictable. Their defense is good but not great. I don’t see how you can pick against the Saints here. So that’s why I’m picking Atlanta. If I’ve learned nothing the past two weeks it’s that I don’t know what I’m talking about. Atlanta 21 New Orleans 20
Attorney Brazil: Everything has gone wrong for Reggie Bush since he broke up with Kim Kardashian. He stupidly gave back his Heisman. On Monday, he broke his fibula. Unfortunately, it doesn’t appear that Kardashian’s latest celeb boyfriend, Miles Austin, learned anything from Bush’s mistake. After recently signing a huge contract with the Cowboys and starting off the season as the best WR in the league, reports from this week indicate that Austin has broken off his fling with Kardashian. Bank on an immediate decline in his production. New Orleans 27 Atlanta 17
GAME 2: Green Bay -3 @ Chicago
Phil: Chicago’s 2-0 start is surprising, but I’m not impressed. Green Bay’s 2-0 start was expected, so I’m not impressed. The game is in Chicago so that should give the Bears an edge, but not enough. Jay Cutler and Mike Martz are bound to lay an egg at some point. I say it’s this week. Green Bay 24 Chicago 14
Attorney Brazil: I’m not sure the Green Bay bandwagon could get more crowded at this point. Apparently, to become the Super Bowl favorites, all you need to do is squeak out a game against Michael Vick, a career mediocore QB who spent the last couple years taking time off to kill dogs, and then beat down the woeful Bills. I’m not convinced yet. I’m hesitant to say that the Bears are any good but I can’t pass up home dogs that are 2-0. Chicago 28 Green Bay 27
GAME 3: San Francisco @ Kansas City -2.5
Phil: Can Kansas City go 3-0? Apparently the renovations to “new” Arrowhead Stadium have breathed life into the Chiefs (not to get into metaphysics here, but if a team repaints a wall or polishes a railing, isn’t that stadium then actually a “new” stadium, too?). The 49ers leading receivers are a running back and a tight end. The Chiefs have only completed 9 passes to wide receivers in 2 games. Needless to say, this one won’t be high scoring. The new Arrowhead gets it done for the Chiefs and the NFL has its surprise team of the season. Kansas City 17 San Francisco 14
Attorney Brazil: This week, I stayed up and watched the entire MNF game between the 49ers and the Saints. Jaws and Gruden couldn’t stop exclaiming that this was Alex Smith’s breakout game. This prompted me to check Smith’s bio, which showed that he is in his sixth year in the league. You don’t have a breakout game after six years… you have an anomaly. The Chiefs probably aren’t that good but I don’t bet on a road team that’s QB had his first good game after 42 starts in the NFL. Kansas City 21 San Francisco 13
STANDINGS: Phil 2-4-0 Contenders 3-3-0