Theme Music! Each week, we give you a bit more background on one of our writers. You know, stuff like their favorite cut of steak, their least favorite teletubby, and the meaning of that weird recurring dream about the monster carrots. Then we play the music that should come on every time they walk down the street. This week, Krista!
Are you nice?
I used to be a horrible person. Proof:
3rd Grade: Convinced the new girl in school that the playground swing-set was broken. She appreciated the advice and thought she made a new friend. Once I freed up the swing, I sat down and swung as high as I could, laughing in the face of that gullible second grader.
7th Grade: When playing a game of cards, my older sister was so good that I just knew she was cheating. After several accusations, an argument ensued, and it all ended with me punching my sister in the face and causing her a nose bleed. I don’t like cheaters.
Why haven’t you ever punched someone I know?
My sister spent many years humbling me by stuffing me in closets, making me walk around town with lipstick all over my face, and leading me into horse manure on “trust walks”. If you think I’m nice now, thank my sister.
Besides righteous boxing, how did you pass time when you were young?
I starred in many plays. Ignore the fact that a group of friends and I wrote, directed, and produced most of them under the name “The Barn House Players”. Yes, we made a stage out of hay bales and plywood. What, your friends didn’t?
Prodigal Son respects Krista’s Gurl-Power and suggested One Girl Revolution by Superchic(k). Aaron thinks that people should stop calling her “Kristen”. But since Krista advanced liberty by scoring regulations for a DC area think tank for the last year, nothing screams “Krista” more than the best hip-hop song of all time.